Upcoming Saturday Mornings

I found out today that Shawn can receive visitors at 6 AM, on Saturday mornings. I've also been in touch with two of his family members and they have told me that they would appreciate anyone willing to reach out to Shawn. Currently, Shawn has several broken ribs and has had surgery on his foot, which sounds like it was severely hurt in the crash. This is what prevented him from having visitors until recently. Hopefully I'll be able to visit with him in the near future, as he's only allowed two visitors per day, for forty-five minutes, each Saturday morning.

I hope to potentially attend Shawn's first trial hearing, tomorrow morning at 8 AM, which will be the first time he's in front of a judge.

One person that will be visiting Shawn this weekend, however, will be his older brother Ryan. He lives out of state, so this weekend will be his first visit to Shawn. I wanted to share with you his words and thoughts revolving around this situation. This comes from this past weekend's South Bend Tribune ...

I am one of Shawn Devine's older brothers and am deeply saddened by everything that has unfolded. Shawn made choices that he and the family of Mishawaka Police Cpl. James Szuba will be haunted by forever. There is nothing good about what happened.

There are many people around me who keep saying that God brings these things into our lives for a reason. I disagree. God doesn't bring these things into our lives at all. Unfortunately, people make choices that can deeply affect themselves and others for good or evil.

For those of us who are left with the consequences of others' actions, God can help us deal with the pain and allow us to respond with love and grace. This is not the normal human response in the midst of suffering; it can only come from God. This is where I am praying I might find myself in the wake of the events that have occurred.

I was a pastor for 11 years before working in the career that I have now. As a pastor, I had the experience of being with a family weeping over their dead high school student after he was hit by a drunken driver.

I had the experience of sitting in the courtroom while the driver was sentenced and hearing the piercing jeers hurled at him from family and friends. Those reactions resonated with me then, and I still have unresolved anger over the pain that was inflicted. I was very close with this family, as the boy who was killed was one of my students in the youth ministry I led. I have a strong relationship with his younger brother, who, along with his family, remains painfully aware of the lingering effects of one man's choice to drive drunk.

With all of this experience in mind, it is surreal to be on this side of things, when someone you care about makes choices that destroy another person's life and family. I guess all I can say is that I am learning a lot more about how our choices have the power to bring destruction and pain.

Shawn was a really great kid growing up and we were very close. He is six years younger and always looked up to me as a big brother. He always had a tender heart for others and was someone others loved to be around.

I remember having so many crossroads-moments and conversations with him over the years. I remember vividly having a conversation with him when I graduated from college. He came with my parents out to Arizona and we had a long walk together through the mountains. He expressed how deeply he wanted to change but how difficult it was to escape the pressure of the crowd and the path that he had begun.

I also remember a time when he came to stay with me for a week in Wisconsin. I remember him saying how he couldn't be like me and couldn't become the person that I had become. How desperately I tried to share with him my imperfections and that it was more about small choices each day and building on the momentum of each victory.

Shawn and I had lost touch since our father passed away. I know he made his own choices, but I am kicking myself for not pursuing him harder. I feel like I failed him over the years.

I will be honest that a part of me hated what he had become. He wasn't the same little boy that I knew years ago. A thick, impenetrable shell grew on the outside of him. He seemed to really want to change but could never get over the hump of all the years of hurt he had inside. When my dad died about seven years ago, Shawn fell apart and went off the deep end. I never fully realized how deep it was. Regardless of what has transpired, I will always love him, no matter the terrible choices he has made.

The news media are really causing my mom, sister and brothers in Indiana a lot of pain. The reports are saying Shawn can get a maximum of 31 years and many in the community are crying out for vengeance. Again, it is surreal being on this side of things. I know he needs to be, and will be, accountable for his actions, whatever the law determines.

I also see how easily evil and violence creep into our hearts. I rest in Jesus' words and the sound of stones dropping to the desert ground from those eager to kill the woman caught in adultery. We are all one or two bad choices away from something like this, and that is sobering to me. It is all the more reason to draw near to the one who calls me his child and trust that he loves me unconditionally and is good.

Please pray for Shawn. God is not finished with him yet, as much as many want to write him off. There is hope. Pray, too, for the family of Cpl. Szuba. They are now left without a husband and father. It should not have been this way for the Szuba family. There is nothing anyone can do to fix the pain that they bear.

Please pray, too, for the forgotten ones in this whole ordeal, my family. We see the picture of someone we love plastered all over the television and Web, vilified, leaving us wondering what happened to the boy with the playful smile and the fullness of life ahead of him. We all have heavy hearts and many questions without answers.